Do you notice that you’re comparing yourself to others a lot lately? Stop comparing yourself to others today and improve your life!
I must admit that it used to be very hard not to compare myself to others. I always wanted to have what others had, afraid that I would miss out or that others wouldn’t like me if I was different.
Luckily it only took me 23 years to figure out that it is complete and utter nonsense (aka complete BS).
It is easy to compare yourself with others. That’s what I’ve done plenty of times. I’ve compared my looks, money situation, clothes, car, and many more things.
You can compare yourself with others and not have an opinion tied to it. The problem is we often do. We want to feel good about ourselves, and when we compare, we only focus on the things we don’t have.
That can be demotivating and negative, which only puts your further back mentally and financially.
If you’re 40, there is someone who is retired at 32. If you’re 25, there is someone who is a millionaire already.
When you’re comparing yourself a lot with others, you may buy things you don’t need to impress people you don’t like. Or you’re close to throwing in the towel because you’re feeling upset.
We don’t want that!
Stop measuring your progress using someone else’s ruler!
It’s hard to stop comparing yourself to others in today’s world of social media and commercials, but I want you to try anyway.
If you can stop comparing yourself to others, the pot of gold will wait on the other side of the rainbow. In terms of happiness, fulfillment, and working toward your goals.
Let’s go for it!
How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
Know WHY Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy
When I’m adapting to a new habit, I need to know why. I’m a true questioner and need to understand it before tackling the rest.
When you want to stop comparing yourself to others, it’s important to know that comparison is mostly not helping you to reach your goals.
Yes, if you have someone you look up to leading your ideal life, please look up to them and know that you can live the same life someday.
Don’t be jealous and compare yourself with them, thinking that this is not for you and you will never reach it.
Think about WHY you are comparing yourself to them.
What is it about how they live their life that you want to have?
If you know what that is, you can work towards it instead of feeling down about yourself.
Comparison is mostly unproductive and a waste of time. Most importantly, a comparison is a waste of joy.
Comparison is the thief of joy – Theodore Roosevelt
Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin
Life gets a little easier when you’re comfortable in your own skin, and you own who you are.
When you’re not comfortable in your own skin, and people call you intimidating, it can be hard to stop comparing yourself to others.
If you get a little more comfortable with yourself, all kinds of doors will open for you. Simply because you gain the confidence to ask certain things.
You are comfortable in your own skin, meaning that you don’t need to compare yourself with others. You are just doing you, and you are okay with that.
Turn Jealousy Into Inspiration
When you are comparing yourself to someone else, try to avoid feeling jealous.
What they have is awesome, and you want to have that too!
Turn the jealousy you may be feeling at some times into inspiration. Be motivated to reach what they have reached in their life.
I mean, when they can do it, that means you can do it too!
That is turning comparison around to motivation and inspiration, which will cause you to take action. How cool is it to approach life that way?
Oh Social Media
I have many things to say about social media. Some positive, some not so positive.
Social media can be great if you follow the right people. That’s a big if!
On social media, you only see what people want you to see. You only see the highlight real of someone’s life, be aware of that.
When people you follow on social media are not adding to your happiness. Unfollow them.
I’m very straightforward about this. If someone makes me feel like I’m not worthy, they make me feel conscious about my decisions, or they make me jealous, I unfollow them.
I don’t need people in my feed who are selling me products and sending the message that you are not good enough without this or that product.
I want to follow people that inform me, make me want to cheer for them, and that I can resonate.
It’s a very easy way to stop comparing yourself to others.
You can simply restrict your time on social media when you’re not so radical. I currently have an app (it is called YourHour) that makes sure I’m not on my phone from 6 am to 8 am because I’m waking up early to write on my blog.
You can put restrictions on whatever app and whatever time you want it. I’m restricting all social apps from 6 am to 8 am.
Get On Top Of Your Finances
Money is an important aspect of life.
You may like it or not, but it is true.
Besides that, comparing finances and money with other people is very easy. They have less debt, spend more on holidays, make more money, have more savings, or something similar.
When you prioritize your finances, you will feel like you are on top of your finances.
You are doing all you can to manage your finances and increase those numbers. Meaning that you don’t have to compare yourself with others. You simply need to do it better than you did yesterday.
Dream About Your Ideal Life
When you want to stop comparing yourself to others, think about your ideal life.
When you have a clear path that you want to take and a clear destination, you may realize that some people want completely different things than you do.
Yes, you may want to make a career, but if your goal in life is more freedom over your time aren’t there better and more enjoyable ways to get there?
- What will my dream life look like?
- What would I do on a day-to-day basis?
- Are there things I can do today to come a little closer to my dream life?
- What would I like to do when I retire early?
When you are focusing on the things you already have, it’s hard to compare yourself to others.
Be grateful for everything that you have in your life and the unique gifts and experiences that you are experiencing.
If You Must, Compare With Yourself
When you are a better version of yourself every day, that is where true joy and growth come from.
Be the best version of yourself in any given situation. Not just for yourself but for the people around you. Contribute to the world, and you will feel fulfilled.
Grow just a tiny bit every single day. Celebrate that tiny change without instantly comparing yourself to others.
When you feel that you are not growing, look at your life a few years back. You will probably realize that there are tons of things you have learned and that you have experienced tremendous growth that you can be proud of!
Be Content With Where You Are
When you want to improve your life, being content with where you are can be hard. You want bigger, better, and faster.
While it is great that you have a goal to strive towards, it is important to realize that it is okay to be content with where you are.
If you are constantly striving, you can never be present in the now and enjoy life. It is important to enjoy life, do fun things, and improve yourself in the process.
Besides that, no one has a perfect life. Everyone has something that makes them sad, everyone has problems.
Accept where you are and don’t compare your chapter 10 with someone else’s chapter 20.
Be content with where you are, be happy for them because of where they are, and know that you will also get there on your own time and with your own phase.
How did you stop comparing yourself to others?
Founder of Spark Nomad, Radical FIRE, Journalist
Expertise: Personal finance and travel content
Education: Bachelor of Economics at Radboud University, Master in Finance at Radboud University, Minor in Economics at Chapman University.
Over 200 articles, essays, and short stories published across the web.
Experience: Marjolein Dilven is a journalist and founder of Spark Nomad, a travel platform, and Radical FIRE, a personal finance platform. Marjolein has a finance and economics background with a master’s in Finance. She has quit her job to travel the world, documenting her travels on Spark Nomad to help people plan their travels. Marjolein Dilven has written for publications like MSN, Associated Press, CNBC, Town News syndicate, and more.