I Can’t Believe I Didn’t Know This Until Now: Embarrassing Things People Learned Way Too Late in Life

I recently scrolled the internet’s front page when I saw this question, “What’s something you learned “embarrassingly late” in life?” Here are the top-voted responses.

1. Croutons

A Redditor said, “I was like, 22? Working at a restaurant making myself a salad, and I asked the chef for bumps and he stared at me for like, 60 solid seconds trying to figure out what I wanted. I explained to him I wanted bumps for my salad. I have all the rest of the toppings but now needed bumps.

“Guys … My family told me croutons were called bumps my entire life. I called my dad that night and confirmed that bumps are indeed, actually called croutons.’’

2. Joint Diseases

Redditor Baffhy_Duck said, “I live near the Hospital for Joint Diseases….when I was a kid, I thought it was a special hospital for people who had two different diseases at the same time.’’

Another added, “Person with multiple diseases here. I will raise this at the next meeting with the hope of adopting it.’’

3. This Is Something My Little Sister Did Through High School

A Redditor said, “This is something my little sister did through high school. We’re about 8 years apart so we never overlapped in school.

“She’s always been a straight-A student, and I found out she worked extra hard because she “wanted to catch up to me” in school. So we could be in school at the same time. I almost cried.

“And for those of you who asked, yes. My sister not only caught up, but surpassed me. She’s a beautiful young woman who graduated with high honors in psychology and is going on to complete a master’s degree.’’

4. I Learned That Pork and Beans Are Not Called “Cowboy Beans”

Redditor whyunoletmepost said, “I learned that pork and beans are not called “cowboy beans”. I was 18 and asked a grocery store clerk to help me find the “cowboy beans. We were looking everywhere and I was getting frustrated because I know that every store carries these beans. After a while I pick up a pork and beans can with a picture and say “see, it looks just like this!” He says “you mean pork and beans?” Then I realized that my mom called them that so that I would eat them. The look of disappointment from that grocery store clerk haunts me to this day.’’

Another added, “Cowboy beans are a real thing, and different families make it different, but it’s generally baked beans with added meat. So pork and beans would technically qualify, although usually there’s a higher meat ratio if you make them for a potluck or something.

“My family recipe has bacon, ground beef, and maybe a little ground Italian if you’re feeling fancy. Also sometimes other types of canned beans are added and simmered in the sauce for a bit.’’

5. The Meaning of “You Have an Addictive Personality”

A Redditor said, “My sister was in her 50s when she found out the meaning of: “you have an addictive personality.” She thought after all these years of therapy that it meant that people were addicted to her personality. We laugh hysterically when we talk about this (in a very sad way).’’

Another added, “Wait does it mean like you get addicted to stuff.’’

6. What on Earth Were We Doing

A Redditor said, “My Dad was fond of framing questions to my brother and/or me regarding just what on Earth we were doing (up to age 10 or so, when it no longer seemed necessary) using the term pray tell, as in “what are you doing with the tools, pray tell?” I presumed a “pratel” was a gentle equivalent to “goofball” or “dummy.” One day I corrected my brother about some misconception he had, addressing him as “you pratel!”

“What did you call him?” asked Dad, who happened to be nearby.

“A pratel. You call us that all the time.”

“I do?!”

“Yeah, you say ‘what is that supposed to be, pratel?” I’d never seen him laugh through a facepalm before.’’

7. Shower

Redditor MagicPieBush said, “That you don’t have to stand in the shower while the water warms up.’’

Another added, “A previous thread like this year’s ago someone said they didn’t know you were supposed to move the towel to dry off. Since on TV they just wrap it around them and walk around. They didn’t like taking showers because it took almost an hour to dry after.’’

8. I Thought That Horses Had Toes Until I Was 22

Redditor BronNatsPulisic said, “I thought that horses had toes until I was 22. I thought the hoof was a “horseshoe” and the toes were tucked inside.

“How did I learn how wrong I was, you ask? I was walking past a cavalry museum and saw a horse statue and loudly remarked “it must hurt so bad when they fold a horse’s toes to put them into the shoe!” Dozens of horse enthusiasts turned and looked at me with wild bewilderment in their eyes.’’

9. You Don’t Have to Rip the Plastic Top Off of Your New Deodorant

A Redditor said, “You don’t have to rip the plastic top off of your new deodorant with your teeth or pliers or anything. You can just turn the base until it comes up enough to just take it off.’’

Another commented, “Oh my god. I should return this master’s degree to the university.’’

10. Lightning Bolt

Redditor Trenuk13 said, “When I was in college (21/22 years old), I was getting ready to go out and it hit me like a lightning bolt – if you just thread the small end of the belt through your belt loops all the way around, literally any belt can fit your pants! Because up until then, I thought sometimes I just had belt loops that were too small for certain belt buckles. I ran out to my friends and was like “Guys – check this out!” as I proceeded to demonstrate for them what I had just learned. I genuinely thought they’d be excited for me? It was then I learned that everyone else on earth knew the right way to wear a belt except my dumb ass.

“Unbelievable how many times up until then I spent trying to jam the buckle side in first and coming to the conclusion I just needed bigger belt loops.”

Did these Redditors make you feel better about something you learned a little bit late in life? 

This article was published and syndicated by Radical FIRE.