Are you giving yourself space to be wrong? I recommend you try it, it gives you a great feeling of freedom and independence. In this article, you learn how you can give yourself the space to be wrong and overcome any obstacles in the way.
Last week, I told you about the mistake I made at work where I forgot the minus sign. It is such a small thing, but since I work in accounting it’s kind of a big deal.
What I learned from that is that itโs important to strive for goals, always. It does not matter how small or how insignificant your action seems, they are important in the big spectrum of things.
What I didnโt see at that time, what I do see now, is that itโs okay to be wrong. Itโs important that you, at that moment, see it as a learning moment and try to do it better next time.
BUT, what isnโt necessary is to beat yourself up about it.
So letโs talk today about giving yourself the space to be wrong!
Allow Yourself To Be Wrong
Today, pretty much everything is on social media. The things that you posted 10 years ago will forever be on Facebook. Things that you tweeted years ago can be used against you now. Even YouTube videos that you made for high school assignments are still on there for the world to see!
This is creating a space where you want to be careful about what you post. I mean there is nothing wrong with that, but if youโre afraid that youโll say things that might turn out wrong, this is a problem.
If youโre going against mainstream thinking, this is where people will most likely not agree with you. But going against mainstream thinking and the echo chambers out there will give us the most progress!
Itโs in those moments of discussion that you will learn the most!
If youโre so afraid of being wrong that youโre not starting any conversation that might challenge the status quo, that is exactly where the problem lies.
You’re so afraid of being wrong that itโs getting in the way of changing the conversation, of expressing our different opinion, and of making a change.
How do we do that?
Youโre probably thinking; okay, well, how do I allow myself the space to be wrong? I mean, making a mistake or being wrong is not so difficult.
The difficult thing is being okay when youโre wrong, accepting it, and seeing it as an opportunity. to grow
Option 1: Fear of Failure
Itโs okay to be afraid to fail, but is it realistic?
Often times we are afraid of how things will work out, but they always do. Itโs something that goes on in our brain.
Fear of failure is rarely based on reality. It is our past experiences that we are afraid of repeating, the mistake that we really don’t want to make because we’re so afraid of the possible consequences.
Ask yourself, if you make a mistake at work? What happens?
Often times it’s not something truly terrible, we’re more disappointed in ourselves than anyone else would ever be.
It’s important to feel the fear and do it
Fear is simply a feeling that you have, that tells you that you’re working towards something great!
[Related Read: How to Start an Awesome Business Without Quitting your Job]
Option 2: Itโs An Opportunity to Learn
Itโs important to see your mistakes as an opportunity to learn.
Itโs the stigma in our society that you canโt be wrong, you canโt make mistakes, we all need to be perfect.
No, thatโs far from the truth.
Seeing it as an opportunity to learn will grow your skillset for the better. If youโre denying that you made a mistake, you will never learn.
If you give yourself the space to be wrong, you will learn and probably pay attention next time youโre in a similar situation.
[Related Read: 6 Lesson Learned from Rich Dad Poor Dad Everyone Should Know]
Option 3: Youโre Human
My experience is that when you make mistakes, people around you just see you as human. Theyโre not blaming you, so why should you? Itโs often something we put on ourselves.
You should recognize yourself as a human in a situation where you were wrong. Itโs okay to be wrong.
Recognizing this gives you perspective and humility. It prevents you from locking into certain beliefs and situations that are not serving you.
[Related Read: Money and Confidence as A Way to Living Your Best Life]
Option 4: Donโt Take it Personally
Many people today are easily offended. When there is an article online that is a tad bit controversial and challenges their views, they take it personally.
They see it as an attack on who they are as a person, rather than as challenging their current ideas. They go all defensive and arenโt open for any discussion.
Point 2 and 3 help. See it as an opportunity to learn, maybe youโve never heard this point of view before and it will teach you a lot about what people in different situations think. Be open for the discussion, realize that youโre only human and you may have beliefs that are not serving you.
The most important thing: donโt take it personally!
I remember a passionate discussion about charity. There were people who were convinced that one should always give to charity, and people who were said that they will never give to charity. The point is not to pick a side here, but rather to see that you probably have a strong opinion about this. That does not mean that they can not have their own opinions and have a good discussion!
Whether you’re giving to charity or not, you probably feel triggered. Try to see it from the perspective of the other person. Try to see that they do not disagree with you as a person for (not) giving to charity. See that itโs just this one decision they disagree with.
Option 5: Donโt Give it Personally
As important as it is to not take criticism personally, it is also important to not give criticism personally.
You probably prefer when others do not give criticism personally, so try it for yourself.
As I outlined above, youโre not criticizing them as a person, youโre criticizing their habits or beliefs.
Keep in mind: if you give yourself and others space to be wrong, you will have different life experiences and discussions come into your life that will invite a different point of view.
You make mistakes, mistakes don’t make you!
Are you giving yourself space to be wrong?
Founder of Spark Nomad, Radical FIRE, Journalist
Expertise: Personal finance and travel content
Education: Bachelor of Economics at Radboud University, Master in Finance at Radboud University, Minor in Economics at Chapman University.
Over 200 articles, essays, and short stories published across the web.
Experience: Marjolein Dilven is a journalist and founder of Radical FIRE, a personal finance platform, and Spark Nomad, a travel platform. Marjolein has a finance and economics background with a masterโs in Finance. She has quit her job to travel the world, documenting her travels on Spark Nomad to help people plan their travels. Marjolein Dilven has written for publications like MSN, Associated Press, CNBC, Town News syndicate, and more.
That would be amazing, go for it! If you’ve written something, feel free to send me a link! ๐
Thanks for the suggestion, I would love to write about that and have it on my mind ๐
Thanks for stopping by Tony!
Yes moving to England would be a big step for sure, good to hear that it has been rewarding. I’m also aspiring to move abroad in the foreseeable future, so if you have any articles or tips on how to take this on I would happily read them! (It currently feels like mission impossible!)
Hi Melissa, thanks for stopping by!
Yes I agree, it’s important to see it as a lesson instead of letting it drag you down. For me I’m struggling with letting things fail intentionally, my default mode is to push through no matter what – which is not always a good thing for sure!
Awesome post and tips!
Feel the fear and do it anyway, that’s the way I felt before moving to England. I managed to retain my fear from controlling my mind and did it anyway! Four years after the move, I can confirm it was the most rewarding experience of my life!
Came across your blog through twitter! Great post! It is important not to let failure drag you down unnecessarily. It is what is is, a learning. And sometimes intentionally choosing to let something fail can be a choice.