We often hear the term money blueprint, to point at what the money mindset we grew up with. Today I am presenting you my love letter to money, how our relationship has developed over the years, and how grateful I am for everything money brings me.
Last week I wrote down an incredible list of money affirmations to improve your money mindset, check it out here if you’d like!
Valentine’s Day Got Me Thinking
Yesterday I was thinking about how it’s almost Valentine’s Day. I am not such a big fan of Valentine’s Day, but even though it’s nice to show people what they mean to you! If you’re still looking for options about what to do for Valentine’s Day, I’ve got some budget options for you right here!
I’ve heard it several times over the last year: if you want to clear your relationship with money, put all your emotions and thoughts to the paper, and write a love letter to money. Well, the first time I heard that I’m thinking; these people are crazy! The more I hear it, the more I’m thinking; okay this could work. Then I read it in You Are A Badass At Making Money by Jen Sincero, and I thought it was a brilliant idea. The power of repetition I guess.
Yesterday, after thinking about Valentine’s Day, I’m thinking I should declare my love to money. Why not? What would I have to lose? I mean it’s true that money and I have had a turbulent relationship over the year, the classic love-hate relationship.
I decided I would write it all down, putting my feelings to paper and starting with a clean slate from now on. Being grateful for money, loving the hell out of it, and appreciating it for all it can bring me.
Okay, so here goes nothing:
My Love Letter to Money
It’s kind of strange for me to write a letter to you. We haven’t talked in a long time. This relationship needs some attention, so I think it’s time I put all my feelings around you on paper.
I’ve been angry with you for a long time. Because you weren’t there when my family needed you the most. You always seemed to glip through my fingers. Because I couldn’t get hold of you.
Now I realize that I was just jealous. I always had enough of you in my life, but I wanted more. I didn’t want other people to have you. It was because of this sense of lack, I felt like I didn’t have enough of you in my life, so I would talk badly about you behind your back. I was hoping to get more of you, only to notice that you withdraw and hold back when I’m clingy. My mindset was what created the tension since it was a violation of your infinite nature. It created tension between us, which I hope to resolve today.
First I want to apologize for how I treated you in the past. I assumed you were no good, you had no good intentions, and that you caused all the evil in this world. Also, I was thinking that I needed to work very hard to earn you. I assumed that once I had you I should never let go because I didn’t trust you would come back.
I know now that you are pure energy like we all are. You don’t let people take advantage of you, you have the best intentions above all. You want to spend time with me just as much as I want to spend time with you. If we keep nurturing our relationship, I know you will always be there for me when I need you. I trust you for that.
Let’s be honest. You can’t live without me, and I can’t live without you. Without me, you would just be sitting there all piled up. Nowhere to go, no adventures waiting for you. That’s why I always love when we go on adventures together, we do the craziest things and we experience our biggest joys together. Without you, I would be hungry, homeless, and a lot less happy. Well, okay, I would live with my parents and be a lot less happy.
I understand now that you’re not mine, and I’m not yours. We are here together to make the world a little brighter. I know that I can survive without you, just like you can survive without me, but nurturing our relationship makes life just so much more enjoyable and easier!
I’m thankful that I met you all these years ago! I remember the first time I saw you, all shiny. We were going to the store, to buy some candy. We were having so much fun! But then I learned the dark side of you. You weren’t there for my family when times were rough. They needed you, but you decided to stay away. That’s when my parents started to hate you, started to talk bad about you.
It’s hard to love someone when your parents are constantly telling you that they’re no good. Through everything, I tried to nurture our relationship as much as possible. The problem was, once I got hold of you I didn’t want to let go. I was afraid that you would leave again as you did with my parents. This is no healthy way of dealing with it, I know that now.
I want you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you that you weren’t there when we needed you the most. It’s hard for you to keep nurturing a relationship where you’re not welcome, I understand that. Why would you spend time with people that talk badly about you? I don’t blame you for this any longer. I know you did all you can.
Also, I hope you can forgive me. I sided with my parents for a long time, but not anymore. You’re good to the core, I know that. I know that you just want to be treated right. You’re the kind of personality that only enhances what people already are. I’m sorry that I took advantage of you, used you. I’m sorry that I expect you to always be there for you, and to be waiting to serve my every need. This wasn’t my intention. I’m sorry that I didn’t pay any attention to you over the years like you didn’t exist for me. I’m sorry that I clung to you so much when I finally got hold of you. I hope it didn’t scare you away. Mostly, I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.
I know you are energy, you are abundant, and I want you in my life.
What I expect from you now is: no more hiding from me and no more tricking me into thinking I need you. We are both our own person. We complement each other, and we both have our own strengths and weaknesses.
I want to restore our relationship to the level it was when we were young. It was so playful and careless, I want to go back to that.
We need to see each other as lovers again. I know that you always will try and be there for me, even if you’re not always capable of showing up. You always will put in the effort, I appreciate that. You always try. I appreciate that you tried to nurture our relationship over the years, even when I already gave up on it.
I’m happy to get this off my chest, so we can start all over again!
I hope you appreciate me too. That you see me worthy of all that you have given me over the years. I hope you see that I will no longer take advantage of your kindness. Of course, I will still appreciate all the gifts you give to me.
I’m positive that we will sustain the new relationship we have formed right now, to be fulfilling and full of joy. If we work together, we can make the world a better place like we always talked about when we were younger!
Your presence in my life is deeply appreciated. You make me feel on top of the world. You always give me everything I need and more! I am deeply grateful for your support. I also have to say, that I love the surprising ways you show up in my life! You never show up empty-handed.
It’s hard for me to tell you how much I really love you. I’m afraid others will judge me, they will tell me that it’s just you I’m after. I will pay no more attention to that old voice in my head that is speaking to me, this is a voice from a past life. When you were not properly acknowledged and loved.
Today I announce my unconditional love for you. I don’t need to hide from you, you don’t need to hide from me. I no longer need to downgrade myself in order to keep you away from me. Everyone can know I am proud to be with you! I am excited with the world has to bring for us, what we will be able to create together.
We will make the world a place full of love! I will not lock you away any longer. I will not accumulate you without a clear purpose. Freedom is what you need, I know that now. I will set you free. I will let you flow, like water you are nurturing everything that comes to your path.
You are my love, my friend, my supporter!
I love you,
That is my money story, all written down on paper. I hope it got you thinking.
Perhaps you’re thinking I’m crazy, or you just found yourself a great way to review your relationship with money! You decide!
What are the things you tell yourself about money? What kind of things are holding your money mindset back?
Founder of Spark Nomad, Radical FIRE, Journalist
Expertise: Personal finance and travel content
Education: Bachelor of Economics at Radboud University, Master in Finance at Radboud University, Minor in Economics at Chapman University.
Over 200 articles, essays, and short stories published across the web.
Experience: Marjolein Dilven is a journalist and founder of Spark Nomad, a travel platform, and Radical FIRE, a personal finance platform. Marjolein has a finance and economics background with a master’s in Finance. She has quit her job to travel the world, documenting her travels on Spark Nomad to help people plan their travels. Marjolein Dilven has written for publications like MSN, Associated Press, CNBC, Town News syndicate, and more.