Heartless or Justified? Wife Refuses to House Mother-in-Law Because of Rottweiler

On the web, someone shared a story about a difficulty they faced with their mom. We’ll call this person Gray. The problem is that Gray’s spouse strongly says no to having Gray’s mom live with them. The reason is that they would have to take care of the mom’s huge pet Rottweiler.

Context: How Did The Mother Lose Her Home?

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In the post, Gray started off with some context: his 59-year-old mother has a month to secure a new living situation. Her government-funded home was taken away by the state without prior notice. She’s currently unemployed because of her disability (she has Lupus, a disease that causes bodily inflammation.)

Gray’s Current Situation

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Gray currently lives in a five-bedroom house with his wife and three children. Concerned about his mother, he considered letting her sleep in their shared office and moving the workspace to the attic. When Gray brought this up to his wife, the suggestion was immediately met with a stern “no.”

Why Won’t His Wife Allow The Mother to Live With Them?

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Gray mentioned that his wife has a good relationship with his mother, even adding that his mom is probably more fond of her than she is of him.

However, housing Gray’s mother would mean dealing with her pet Rottweiler too. This condition aggravated his wife and started a heated argument between them. Gray tried to negotiate with her, but she responded by saying, “she won’t get rid of her dog, therefore she has no place here.”

Gray’s Aware Of The Dog Issue And Still Finds His Wife’s Reaction Absurd

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Gray was aware that she is not a fan of dogs, and that she was especially anxious around his mother’s Rottweiler because she was chased by one when she was young.

Yet, he found it absurd that his wife would choose to turn his mother away just because of her pet.

He Called Her Response “Over-The-Top”

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The wife stood firm in her stance—she wasn’t willing to dedicate time and energy towards caring for her disabled mother-in-law and a large, untrained dog on top of that.

He expressed that he thought her response was “over-the-top” and wrote that she was acting “rather ignorantly” for refusing to help.

The Dog Debate: Would It Be Dangerous To Keep a Rottweiler?

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The mere thought of living with a Rottweiler triggered the wife’s lifelong phobia. She feared that the dog would pose a threat to their kids, and said she was “absolutely repulsed” by Gray’s idea. She argued that letting the Rottweiler in their home would expose their kids to a hostile animal.

The Situation Caused a Major Rift in Their Relationship

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The situation has both Gray and his wife stressed out beyond belief. According to him, the issue had caused a major rift in their relationship. It reached a point where the wife implied that if Gray were to decide to prioritize his mother over their family’s well-being, he was free to leave for good.

In terms of legal ownership of the house, the wife has the upper hand, as she inherited it long before she met Gray.

Is The Wife’s Reaction Heartless or Justified?

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People who read Gray’s post left a number of comments sharing their opinions.

Many thought he was being insensitive for failing to consider his wife’s perspective. In their point of view, housing both the mother and the dog would inevitably pile extra responsibilities onto the wife, who already had an exhausting routine to begin with.

After all, she has a full-time job and three kids to manage, and constantly has to balance these duties with the unpaid labor of doing house chores.

Did Gray Really Look At It From His Wife’s Point of View?

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Commenters called Gray “insane” for expecting his wife to comply with his suggestion. Several users stated that he overlooked her traumatic experience with Rottweilers in the past, which influenced her reaction to having a dog of the same breed close by.

Taking Into Account Caring For A Disabled Parent

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One user advised Gray not to underestimate the effort that would go into accommodating his disabled mother.

With all the doctor’s appointments, medications, increased expenses, and personal nursing care he would have to provide, it’s best that he look into other housing options for his mother, at least for now.

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