In a post I recently saw, an aunt shares her dilemma involving her 13-year-old adopted niece. To make it less confusing, let’s call the aunt Rose and her niece Mary.
Rose sent Mary to live with her other uncle for a week. The problem is Mary barely knows her other uncle.
Why was Mary living with her aunt?
To give you a little context, Rose’s brother was Mary’s father. He passed away four years ago. Mary’s mother also passed away twelve years ago—making Mary an orphan.
Since she had a better relationship with her father’s relatives, it was evident that her aunt Rose was the better relative to adopt her.
Why did Rose send Mary away for a week?
The past few weeks have been hard for Rose. Whenever they disagreed, Mary seemed to develop an ungrateful and annoying attitude, saying that she’d rather stay with her other uncle. Although Rose knows she doesn’t really mean it, especially since Mary isn’t close with them.
Rose has a high-paying job to provide her with more than the average family can, and she can spoil her niece with everything she wants. The main conflict happened when Rose had enough and told Mary to pack her things and stay with her other uncle for a week.
How did Mary react to her aunt’s sudden statement?
Mary was taken aback and immediately apologized. She admitted that she didn’t mean what she said. However, Rose’s decision was made. She told Mary to at least try and experience living with her other uncle and see if she wanted to stay or go back to living with her.
A week passed, and Rose called to ask if she’d like to return home, to which Mary replied yes.
What happened when Mary returned home?
If you guessed that Mary wasn’t talking to her aunt, you got it right.
Rose gave Mary time and space before discussing her experience with her other uncle. After a few days, they had a conversation about what happened. Mary said her uncle was nice, but his wife made her feel unwelcome. Mary was uncomfortable for the whole week and expressed how she didn’t want to live with them again.
Rose apologized and told her that even if she wanted to live with her uncle, she’d still take her back home because she loved her.
Was Mary acting spoiled?
People had different opinions on Mary’s outburst. Some said Rose spoiled her so much that she didn’t know how to be grateful anymore.
Others agreed, saying that Mary was trying to manipulate Rose, and added that she needs to learn to handle disagreements in a healthy manner because things won’t always go her way.
Rose Was Acting Too Harsh
On the other hand, most of the commenters said Rose was acting too harshly on Mary and that she should’ve known that it was only a typical teenager’s response.
Rose should have acted like an adult.
Mary is Just a Teenager, What Would You Expect
Indeed, teenagers often speak out of anger. Mary did say that she didn’t mean it and that she didn’t actually want to live with her other uncle.
Maybe she was just trying to see if Rose would abandon her, which may have been an unconscious reaction to losing her parents.
Did Rose do the right thing by letting Mary live with her other uncle?
There were a lot of mixed opinions about what Rose did. Others criticized her, saying that Mary would develop abandonment issues, while some told her it was the right decision to make Mary learn her lesson.
Should Rose Have Known Better?
The bottom line is Rose was the adult here. She could have known better. We have to take into consideration that Mary had no other family.
Her guardian is her aunt, and the thought of her only guardian sending her away would naturally hurt her.
Did She Break Her Trust?
Since she was an orphan, Rose was the only person Mary trusted. She must’ve thought it was easy for Rose to pass her off to other people, which may have broken her trust in her aunt.
Not to mention that she’s already dealing with the loss of her parents, so it would have been nice if Rose had spared her the trauma of being abandoned.
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