Wife’s Cooking Skills Disrespected on Husband’s Birthday—How Would You React?

I stumbled upon a post where a husband shares his dilemma regarding a situation on his 28th birthday. He wanted to celebrate his birthday with his wife somewhere special like they usually do—a restaurant, perhaps. However, his wife declined and insisted that she cook instead. 

You would think that this shouldn’t be a problem, right? However, the issue started when his wife decided to prepare their meal.

Context: Why was his wife insisting on a home-cooked meal over a restaurant dinner an issue for the husband?

The wife’s decision isn’t really on par with what the husband had in mind. He wanted to dine out and celebrate his birthday at a restaurant, or at least order takeout and enjoy their dinner at home. The reason is that the wife’s cooking skills aren’t the best in the world. In fact, it was subpar.

When the husband arrived home, he smelled something weird from their kitchen, and his wife said she had cooked dinner. He was left shocked but still went along with his wife’s surprise. 

Context: Why was the husband shocked at his wife’s dinner surprise?

Sitting at the table, he saw a sight he didn’t expect. Once he tasted the food, he described the prepared dishes as half burnt, bland, soup that tasted like water, and inedible desert. 

His wife knew she messed up their dinner and expected her husband to try all the dishes she prepared, but he did not oblige. Despite the mess, the husband thanked his wife for the dinner she had prepared and told her that they could still order takeout. But this made the wife upset.

Why was the wife upset even though the husband thanked her?

While the husband thanked her, his next remark upset the wife. 

The husband added that she should not have bothered cooking because she was well aware of her poor cooking skills. His wife told him that the least he could’ve done was to try all the dishes. Ultimately, he ordered his own food, and his wife didn’t bother touching what he bought. 

Is the husband’s reaction acceptable? 

At the very least, the husband’s initial reaction, which was thanking his wife for cooking for his birthday, is acceptable. But he told her she should not have bothered cooking because of her poor cooking skills. Naturally, the wife got offended by this remark. 

Looking back at the situation, it is reasonable to be upset, especially when it’s your special day, and you’d want to celebrate it with good food and in a good mood. The whole situation somehow ruined the husband’s special day. 

Why did the wife still insist on cooking for her husband despite her poor cooking skills?

Anyone would agree that if cooking isn’t your forte, the most instinctive thing to do is to order food, especially when celebrating a special occasion, right? Others criticized the wife, saying she was “experimenting” with her cooking skills at the wrong time. 

People saw it as unfair to force the husband to taste the prepared dishes, seeing as they were inedible and likely to taste bad. The whole point of celebrating his birthday was to enjoy his special day, and he should decide where and how he wants to celebrate it. 

But let’s look at the situation from a different perspective. The wife must have had a good reason for doing what she did. She just wanted to make his day extra special by putting in the effort to cook a meal. 

Take note that cooking is not just about preparing the food. It also includes buying groceries, searching for recipes, enough planning and preparation days before the event, and aftercare, like washing the dishes and putting everything away after the celebration. 

The outcome may not be the same as what she had in mind, but her intention was pure, and it was sweet of her to try. The wife probably felt embarrassed and invalidated, seeing that all her efforts were unappreciated. 

What was the best course of action that the husband could have done?

The easiest option was to eat out or order takeout. But, his wife exerted effort to cook for him, even though it didn’t turn out the way they both expected it to. 

The husband was disappointed, which was a natural reaction. However, he should have phrased his words better instead of invalidating her wife’s effort. He could have delivered his comments by starting with being appreciative of her effort instead of bluntly reminding her of her poor cooking skills. Acknowledging the gesture and making the situation lighter would have made her feel less upset than she was. For sure, the wife already knew that she made a mistake, and she didn’t need her husband to remind her of that.

As for the wife, some people commented that she shouldn’t have forced her husband to try all the dishes when it was clear he didn’t enjoy it. Although preparing dinner for him was a thoughtful gesture, if she knew she wasn’t a great cook, she should have followed a recipe step-by-step or attempted to cook at a different time rather than on his birthday.  

Any thoughts on the husband’s or wife’s reactions? Do you think both people are at fault?

Source: Reddit